If you’re wondering whether your partner is cheating on you, naturally you’ll have a lot of questions. Some of these are obvious: Why? With who? For how long? These answers will be unfortunately painful, should it turn out you are facing a cheating wife, husband, or partner, and that’s if you get answers at all.
However, these aren’t the most important answers to find when dealing with a cheating partner. In fact, the answers to a few questions can answer the most serious one of all: Is your partner cheating? By answering these questions, you’ll be closer to confirming or disproving your suspicions. Some of these answers are internal—you’ll have to consider what you’ve been thinking and experiencing—while others could benefit from tools like a catch a cheater app or website.
Are they acting differently?
If you’ve ever heard stories about cheating spouses being caught, you’ve likely heard about some of the common changes that might tip off their partner. Perhaps they’re taking better care of their appearance, spending more time at the gym, or even bringing new moves to the bedroom.
However, there are other contexts where subtle differences could catch your eye, like unexpected interests. Is he suddenly on top of the latest diamond trends, despite hardly caring about the gemstone in the past? Of course, he could be looking to surprise you with diamond jewelry and the latest trends. But he could also be in the market for the perfect balance of sparkle and simplicity with someone else in mind.
Do they make accusations or act defensively?
All too often, a cheating husband, wife, or partner may project their guilt, fear, and other emotions onto you. These moments of manipulation can be disheartening and confusing, or even abusive.
Have they accused you of cheating, even without you voicing your suspicions? Are they pointing out the flaws you’ve had for a lifetime? Do they call you jealous and crazy, or confront you about invading their privacy? All couples argue, but when it rises to the level of gaslighting and manipulation, there may be a more sinister issue at play.
Are they trying too hard?
As another classic sign of a cheating spouse, an unfaithful partner may overcompensate for their affair by doing everything in their power to seem like the perfect spouse. Perhaps they’re surprising you with all the new trends from your favorite store, buying you jewelry, chocolate, and flowers for the first time in your entire relationship, or they’re suddenly lavishing you with attention. Both of these instances use distractions, trying to turn you from any suspicion. In short, if it seems too good to be true, it very well may be.
Do you have a gut feeling?
If you’re reading this, chances are you have some deep suspicions about a cheating partner already. For a moment, ignore your fears of falsely accusing them and listen to your instincts—odds are, they already know all of these answers.
Of course, this all comes with a necessary caveat—none of these symptoms, or however much time they spend on social media or in text conversations you never see, will single-handedly determine whether they’re cheating on you. Eventually, though, the truth is bound to come out, whether they confess unprompted or you confront them with these concerns.
Like identifying them in the first place, confronting a cheater can be a challenge. Still, it’s important to remember that you deserve better than a cheating spouse. If your partner is showing signs of cheating, they very well may be—or you may find that there are completely unrelated issues the two of you can confront together.