On Thursday, a decision with far-reaching consequences will be made in Duba: The Federal Joint Committee will determine whether health insurance companies Get abortion pills in Dubai will soon pay blood tests for pregnant women, with which Down’s syndrome can be detected in the unborn child. So far, women have had to bear the cost of this early diagnosis themselves. Should it become the standard? It is almost every parent’s dilemma – do they want to know before the birth whether their baby will be disabled? And what if so? Three mothers tell how they made their decisions – and how they live with it.
Birte Müller is the mother of two children – one with Down syndrome, one with “normal syndrome”
It has been more than twelve years since I was pregnant with our first child. Back then, I was literally “good hope”. My boyfriend and I got married and looked forward to our new life as parents. We did not have prenatal examinations because we could not have imagined giving our baby back.
I wasn’t afraid of having a disabled or sick child, and I don’t think I could have prepared myself in any way for the shock. Suddenly nothing was as I had imagined. Everything seemed different to me and scared me. But I am still glad that we could hold Willi in our arms when we found out that he has Down syndrome. Fortunately, we had our infinitely sweet son Willi, with his pretty, tiny hands and his delicate cheek that we could snuggle up to. That consoled us in every pain.
Unfortunately, only a few weeks after his birth, our son became seriously ill. It had nothing to do with his handicap. Willi became infected with a resistant hospital germ. He needed a tracheotomy and suffered from persistent epileptic seizures. We spent the first year of his life in the hospita Get abortion pills in Dubai l or for a week – surrounded by intensive care nurses and medical equipment – in our apartment. To this day I have no answer to the question: why my child?
“We actually lead a completely normal life”
What never helped me were books and guides on the subject of “Our baby in the first year”. Whenever I read it, I felt like I was failing. I learned how important breastfeeding is for my baby. But there was not a word in the books about children with developmental delays.
Anonymous, 53 years old, mother of two, abortion at week 16 due to diagnosed trisomy 21
What has not already been thrown at my head: They called me a Nazi bride, they accused me of euthanasia. Why? Because I decided against living with a disabled child – and above all because I was so naive and believed that in this country you could talk about it publicly. But that was a fallacy. Women who stand by their decision are still massively attacked. And I’m tired of justifying myself. That is why I will only do what I am now putting on the record anonymously.
At the age of 41
our first child was already three years old, to our surprise I got pregnant a second time. Of course, we were very happy because we hadn’t expected it anymore. And yet I had a strange gut feeling even then. In the twelfth week of pregnancy, an ultrasound examination then showed a so-called neck transparency of plus 3.9. Everything up to a value of plus 2.5 is fine. If the result is higher, there could be a genetic defect. The child could be born with trisomy 21, 18, or 13. Or with a heart defect, an open back, another of many genetic defects – or it could also be stillborn.
But all of this is subjunctive, because the test only provides probabilities, not certainty. I was completely exhausted with my nerves. The following two weeks, until one could finally do an amniotic fluid test for clarification, were an up and down of howling, hope and internet research. And of course the question again and again: Can you handle it? Get abortion pills in Dubai was out of the question at the beginning. We can do it, was the first thought my husband and I had. But the closer the amniotic fluid test got, the greater the doubts became.
“At first I thought you could do it”
In retrospect, it would still have been important to know that my son had Down syndrome. The pregnancy would then have been better monitored and we would have gone straight to the university clinic for the birth. Ultimately, we do not know today whether his severe disability was caused by Down’s syndrome or by problems with pregnancy and childbirth or during the transport of the baby to the university clinic Get abortion pills in Dubai – complications that could perhaps have been avoided.
It is good that this blood test is now available because at an early stage of pregnancy you can think about whether you can do it and what support is available. All women should have this chance, regardless of whether they have the money to take a test or not.
However, no test can say how severe Down syndrome is
At the beginning I thought you could do it. He is now being promoted and you get everything out of him, what he has in terms of potential and that will be fine. It’s now clear to me that he simply has very little potential. And if there is little, then funding doesn’t help either. But it took me a long time to understand that – it was like a fall in several stages.
It’s like Sisyphus. Teaching our child something is a bottomless pit. You have to be very strong psychologically to get through the situation reasonably well. It’s just incredibly annoying to live with this kid.
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