I first learned about the local suicide prevention charity while in high school. I had been battling severe depression. There were too many classes to keep up with, and I thought I needed perfect grades. Cutting myself helped me not to think of my problems and the helplessness that I felt most of the time. I dealt with my depression through the pain and destruction the knife brought — alone — for several months. I found that simply cutting wasn’t helping anymore, so I tried to cut my wrist. The next day, in gym class, I was forced to take my sweater off in front of my friend. My friend saw the cut marks and became alarmed. She remembered a conversation she had heard about suicide prevention and knew she had to get help. She took me to the nurse’s office to talk. My initial reaction was anger that she had told on me, but I soon realized that she may have saved my life.
After talking to the nurse for sometime about the stress I was in, I began to feel a bit better. I had thought I had no one to talk to, and others would think I was just exaggerating. She sat with me for a few minutes, then called my parents. When my parents came in, I was stressed all over again. I kept thinking, “What are they going to say?” “I’m going to be in trouble.” I was surprised when they walked in, hugged me, and told me they would be there to support me any way they can. It was then that the nurse told my parents about the local suicide prevention charity and how they have many programs and resources.
How can a suicide prevention charity help?
My parents and I started reading the information the suicide prevention charity provided.Through the information, we learned how to communicate more effectively. We soon found out they had a lot of information to help my parents, as well. I started counseling and became active in a therapy group for people in need of suicide prevention. While in counseling, I learned that I had anxiety and was given tools to cope. We went over ways to understand and recognize what triggered my anxiety, and how to avoid them. I was able to get my parent’s input too. I learned how to use the resilience theory. This theory states that all the good or bad that happens in our life should be embraced, not avoided, and that coping with risk and learning how to get back up is good for us — it helps us learn.
Where to go from here
Over time, I realized I may always have severe anxiety. I learned ways to recognize my triggers, cope with the times I can’t prevent them, and recover from the stress it gives me in the moment. I now have an amazing group of people that I can talk to anytime I need to that are very supportive.